1. Dan to the ‘escu!

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    Said Romanian presidential hopeful and media mogul Dan Diaconescu: “I am the only candidate whose name end in «escu», and statistics never got it wrong. Since 1974, all of Romania’s presidents had names that ended in «escu». Although, in the final tour of the elections there have been people whose name didn’t end in «escu» who were very well positioned in the polls, something happened every time and they lost to the candidates whose names ended in «escu».”

    via Romania Insider

    Ed. note: Turns out, reliable sources indicate that this is, in fact, true — if you’re willing to discard ad interim president Nicolae Văcăroiu, who held the office for a grand total of 1 month and 3 days.

  2. Mr. Municipality

    Said Casey Callanan, Republican candidate for Cerro Gordo, Iowa county supervisor: "The fact is, I’m the only candidate who pays taxes on properties in two municipalities in the county."

    via Globe Gazette

  3. Waiting Backstage

    Said Texas Republican gubernatorial candidate Greg Abbott: “I’m the only candidate on this stage tonight who has outlined a plan to deal with border security.”

    via TWC News

  4. Like For Example

    Said Yakima County prosecutor candidate Troy Clements: “I’m the only candidate who has worked within the office the last decade that understands the things we could do better, like not lose 30 deputy prosecuting attorneys under (current Prosecutor) Jim Hagarty.”

    via Yakima Herald Republic

  5. Caucus of the Walkus

    Said U.S. Senate candidate from Nebraska Jim Jenkins: “I’m the only candidate on this stage who has pledged – and right from the beginning – that I would not caucus with either the Democrats or the Republicans, but instead work to find common ground with both Republicans and Democrats on all the issues that Republicans and Democrats have kicked down the road.”

    via KVNO

  6. Moment of Zen

    Said Toronto mayoral candidate Olivia Chow: “I’m the only progressive candidate and that’s in line with what [Jon Stewart] has been talking about in the States.”

    via Toronto Sun

  7. Muddy Buddies

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    Said Washoe County, Nevada sheriff candidate Chuck Allen: ”I am the only candidate who has been in the trenches, and you can count on me to continue to be in the trenches as the Washoe County sheriff.”

    via Reno-Gazette Journal

  8. EIEIO

    Said Kansas Republican Sen. Pat Roberts: "I’m the only candidate on this stage who will put Harry Reid out to pasture."

    via KWCH

  9. Emergency Procedure Word

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    Here’s New Hampshire Senate candidate Jim Rubens. "I’m the only candidate running for U.S. Senate in the entire country who is making political corruption an issue in my campaign," he said. "I’m also the only candidate running for Senate who was endorsed by the Mayday PAC." 

    via Seacoast Online

  10. Bring the Bleach

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    Said Providence, Rhode Island mayoral candidate, Michael Solomon, “I’m the only candidate that cleaned up the mess of Buddy Cianci.”

    via AP, sfgate.com